Egged On

Right now I am sitting in  the car while the baby naps in the car seat. There are drawing materials strewn all over the passenger seat. I have a 180 degree view of nature though the windshield and front windows. I am on the lookout for sparrows, squirrels and robins but have not seen squirrel hide nor  bird tail. I am nervous because the neighbors might notice how silly and lazy water-coloring in a heated car observatory thing looks. I finally pick up my journal to jot down some preliminary rants. It occurs to me that even my thought-book looks pretentious and expensive. My poor husband is away at work digging an early grave of exhaustion saving so that wifey can complain in writing in only the best of big black notebooks. But writing in a nice notebook is an innocent pleasure. I got this super important portfolio for a few cents at a house sale down the street. And it truely makes more sense for me to stay home with the toddler right now. A job would cause more upset to our home than my pay  grade is worth. Sure, my ‘audience’ would be in awe but my family would suffer. I have fallen for one of the dumbest lies, confusing what other people see for what really is. It sounds so obviously wrong, but is it? How many of us could figure out the difference between right and wrong without the social cues of angry glares punishing us and pleased smiles rewarding  us? So I think it is understandable that people get confused but maybe we need to think about our obligations to those closest to us and then stick to those duties no matter what the mob screams.

4 thoughts on “Egged On

  1. kim says:

    Absolutely, I agree. It takes a bit of detachment from the opinions of others to find out what’s really important I think. And work, like writing and painting and caring for our families, which is in service of the soul, is as vitally important as any other. Take care x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. youcanmommytoo says:

    Yes! I feel the pressure, too. The “confusion” has robbed me of greater joy more than I care to admit.

    Like

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