Category Archives: Wismidgens

Poetry

poetry is a thought or emotion which has been filtered through meticulous meter and rigorous rhyming till it becomes distilled into its purest and most intoxicating form. Many times some well chosen poetic devices are added for extra enjoyment.

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An Immodest Proposal

It’s extremely sophomoric even for me to dare propose the reason for morning sickness on my silly blog after countless hours of suffering from half the population for thousands of years. Yet, that’s what I’m about to do.

What if it’s the body’s attempt to increase the blood volume in a balanced way. Your blood volume increases a ton when you’re pregnant. Maybe that’s why lowering blood sugar is so bad. Also why minerals help and why pregnant women like pickes. Pickes are sour and salty. Sodium and potassium. Or why they don’t want anything. Maybe that’s why the symptoms are gradated, because there are several minerals and nutrients needed to balance blood. So maybe if you’re missing only one the symptoms are milder. Maybe the factors are weighted in importance, with blood sugar being the most important.  My first pregnancy I wanted water and salty foods which fits since I was almost certainly dehydrated from years of drinking tons of coffee. But since I was a healthy weight(good blood sugar balance or whatever it’s called), I felt pretty good. Second pregnancy I was overweight( fluctuating or high blood sugar) going in and it was harder. This may seem shaky but I do know a lot of processes in the human body are complex and that a lot of mechanisms that are meant to help you can actually harm you, like dying from a bee sting.

Or maybe there’s a specific chemistry to prevent or cause contractions. Maybe the body is trying to thin out calcium from the cells and smooth muscles n’ stuff. Maybe that’s why magnesium helps because without it muscles cannot relax. Maybe this is why exercise helps because it brings the minerals into the skeletal muscles and away from the uterus muscles. Maybe that’s one of the reasons the blood volume increases in the first pace, to draw out and trap the interstitial shit. May progesterone is basically meant to slow the involuntary muscles. Maybe that’s why women get constipated  and get heart murmurs. When you have your period you’re the opposite of nauseous because you basically can’t eat enough. When you are not going through that because you’re pregnant you are nauseous.  Especially since pregnancies with morning sickness result in less miscarriages. Interesting.

I’m thinking it’s chemistry

Chaotic Neutral

When  I was 15 and again at 18 I  had recently lost weight. On top of the smaller size, I realized that these witty remarks would appeare out of nowhere in my head like I was possessed by a particularly poetic devil. I’m not totally sure science wise but weight loss preceded by uncontrollable creativity is happening again. I have heard something about how overeating (not what, how much) kills cells which makes sense since this happened when the weight loss was caused by a decreased amount as opposed to lots of healthy food and exercise like when I was 21 or so. Also it could be having fewer meals and giving your belly a long rest at night since that is another contrast between the weight loss methods. The effect is probably most noticeable  in people who have been over eating for a long time.

Or maybe it’s just that not overeating is the hardest thing in the world for me and once that’s gone hardly anything else is as difficult as it used to be.

But why go on about myself? First, because that’s how I role and second because if someone else had noticed this I’d certainly want to hear about it.

Anyways, here’s another joke.

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If you’re egotistical enough to think you can get along with me then you’re too prideful to put up with me.

And if you’re dumb enough to think I’m making fun of you when I’m actually poking fun at myself, then you’re too stupid to understand me.

 

Okay, I’m lost.

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Philosssssoraptor

This insight is so obvious I almost think I must have read it somewhere. A snake pit of intertwined stories and truth. Still, it is not a set in stone fact, or is it quite literally impressed in rock?

Consider that there are fossils of dinosaurs yet there are no dinosaurs around now. The closest thing we have are slithering snakes, belly dragging alligators and lethargic lizards with either non existent or tiny forelegs.  Going by the anatomy they should either be bouncing like kanagaroos or walking like us. Then we have this story in the Bible about the devil pretending to be a serpent because they are so crafty. Remember in Jurassic Park how the raptors were basically as smart as humans? Well, what if they were also dragon-like sharkmawed and huge. Totally appealing to evil.  Then God said serpents would walk on their bellies forever after. And that man would not be able to command nature anymore. Which reminds me of a question that has occupied my mind as to how people could have defended themselves against basically monsters. Answer, we could not unless we had a special weapon or knowledge. Once we lost that authority the reptiles thankfully lost stature as well.

I hope I haven’t uttered any heresy because the little udders – they’re hard to locate.

Stick to Your Guns and Unstick Your Gums

Have you ever made an intelligent observation or learned an obscure fact but were too afraid to proclaim or act on it? Then years down the road, it turned out you were correct? Well, I just cannot bear the unrealized honor any longer.

This is probably pretty messed up, but I think I am going to start documenting those.

Wismidgen (wise+smidgen) #1

Raw potato starch causes crazy dreams not because it feeds bacteria which in turn do their magic, but because it is nightshade essence diluted into almot nothing. And you know how homeopathy takes a poison and the more it’s diluted the more it is a remedy to the exact reaction the plant in nature would cause? Since nightshade in nature is a neurotoxin that blocks neurotransmitters then perhaps diluted nightshade increases neurotransmitters, which causes crazy dreams.